I went to watched "Elegy" alone yesterday. 

A colleauge used to join me for smoke break asked me why didn't ask him along, I said I've already booked the ticket. In fact I watch movie alone. In fact I desire to be alone, and I can't explain why. I seems to close all the doors and reject all the company. But somehow I think I shouldn't emphasize ALONE. The more I emphasize the more pretense I seem to be. Anyone happens to read this entry, I'm truly very sorry.

Let's get back to "Elegy". It directed by Isabel Coixet, a Spanish director of Paris, je t'aime(segment "Bastille")  and My Life Without Me ; starring Ben Kingsley, Penélope Cruz and Patricia Clarkson. It adapted from Philip Roth’s "The Dying Animal".  The Change to "Elegy" is more appropriate I guess due to its spare and melancholy flow.

According to Wikipedia, An elegy is a mournful, melancholy or plaintive poem, especially a funeral song or a lament for the dead. This is how Martyn Lowery's describes in his poem "Our Love Now": their love has been permanently damaged like a tree in the storm; like the tree, their love is forever dead.  Surely love will dead, most of the times it fades, or fades to death. Though Shakespeare told Viola in "Shakespeare in love" as "You will never age for me, nor fade, nor die." when they have to separate. We watch movie because it imitates reality while it gives us some illusions as comfort don't we.  And I guess the diffrence between movie and love is, you can always buy another DVD, downloand or watch it on youtube if lost, but you might never find the exactly same true love, if lost.

Let's get back to "Elegy" again. "Elegy" says a middle-aged New York lit professor and man-about-media with an unquenchable thirst for the smartest and prettiest of his female students, Cruz is one of these, but she’s the first he’s terrified of losing before he gets her into the sack. I must say Penélope Cruz is irresistible sexy, the way she kisses and smiles made me pretty horny. I always in love with her and will become a lesbian without any hesitation if I met a girl like her. The carefully scaled color palette and the soundtrack sighs with Bach, mozart, Bethoveen and ect wrap the story in atmosphere. Most of those quintets and sonatas I heard my younger and elder sisters played on piano when I was young, feeling left out when my mum refused to send me for piano class. Though I picked up piano myself eventually, I still don't know how to play them. They do sound simple but need some skills. 

For all we know, it's always hard to be simple.

And I do know that complicated and simple are actually two sides of the same coin, in order to see complexity, one have to have the notion of simplicity, and vice-versa. So neither complexity nor simplicity has any independent reality of their own. So do love and hate, gain and loss, crowded and loneliness.

This entry is paranoid due to I’m paranoia. I woke up today and realize 2009 will be my bad hair year as each passing year. Anyway catch "Elegy" if you can. But don't leave the cinema when you see the cast credits roll on. Stay for Satie's gnossiennes while Kingsly and Cruz walk along a beach, the sea the same gray as the sky. Then Surf yourself in blue and vain, when the beach becomes empty and the screen turns black.


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