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好的，我承認我每天都會上facebook。工作間有事沒事都會去晃一下，看看朋友間發生了些什麼更新了什麼寫了一些什麼心情。許多人非常不可思議的坦白，所有喜怒哀樂都在狀態訊息上表露無遺，稍加追問又推得一干二淨，於是造就人與人之間最無可奈何又最安全的距離，似合群又似離群索居。
說到群體，人類在對群體進行分類時，除了以體質特徵做為標準，從自我祖先追溯、歷史經驗、宗教信仰、文化傳統、風俗習慣、祭典儀式、語言、地域範圍、乃至於飲食方式等方面，來分辨我群他群的作法，反而更為常見。這就是人類學用詞中的「族類」與「族群」。
扯了那麼多，只是要為以下沒營養的資訊做一些學術性的氣質假象潤飾。
Facebook is a...hmmm, huhhhhh, ahhhhh, well. Something I can't find a proper term to describe but you can really find something super interesting there. Here're my collections, But I didn't join any of them I swear!! (Though I did join some others useful group and that sounds reasonable right? Yeah.)
Top Pet Peeves:
#1. Other skinny people asking us any of the above questions
#2. Everyone else telling us that we're skinny, including our parents who see us eating tons
For The Record:
- We eat normally
- We can't help it if we're skinny
- If you've known us for awhile, please don't ask stupid questions about whether we've lost weight again, because we were never fat to begin with.
- We are not anorexic
- Even if we do eat more than others, there's no need to proclaim that fact all the time as if we're some genetic anomaly
- We want to gripe about our tummy sometimes. Skinny does not equal no tummy…
- When was the last time anyone told someone they looked fat?
Bottomline: We have nothing against being skinny – the perks are great! But there's just no need to remind us of the obvious all the time. Pick on someone else your own size!!
純粹個人喜惡類……
They're like shoes, only...well...repulsive.
step 1. click 'invite people to join'
step 2. invite all of your friends
step 3. don't buy crocs
step 2. invite all of your friends
step 3. don't buy crocs
被惹毛類……
I hate it when slow walking people take up the whole damn sidewalk. its like, WTF? you are just asking to get knocked in the head.
And by the way, not so secret actually. i try to make it really obviously by doing on of 3 things:
-Pretending I 'accidentally' stepped on their heels and then grunting in frustration.
-Saying to my walking companion "i hate it when people walk really slowly" very loudly.
-Repeatedly and very obviously attempting and then failing to walk around them.
-Saying to my walking companion "i hate it when people walk really slowly" very loudly.
-Repeatedly and very obviously attempting and then failing to walk around them.
This works like 60% of the time.
For everybody who gets severely pissed off when people refuse to use their turn signal.
I mean, like really, really mad.
also a lovely place to rant about other driving offenses. i mean, some people just shouldn't be on the road.
this is for all those moochers athat always ask for gum just because they see you chewing it. the ppl you dont even know or like, there fucking annoying.
自我反省永不悔改類……
This group is for everyone who promised themselves that they would stop cursing, but it never really happened. I know we may try our hardest, but stupid sh*t gets on our nerves.
怪癖/怪咖大集合……
This group is not only limited to flipping our pillows, but is all about the ridiculous things we do to our pillows or bed for that matter, in order to get a good nights rest...share your stories!
*Flipping your pillows
*Hand/arm under your pillow
*Fear of feet out from under covers
*Fear of limbs off the bed
*Sleeping backwards
*Building pillow and blanket forts
*One leg out from under the covers
*Not being able to sleep with or without sox
*Pillow folding
*pillow between the legs
*closet door or bedroom door opened or closed
*drooling
****And much much more...
*Hand/arm under your pillow
*Fear of feet out from under covers
*Fear of limbs off the bed
*Sleeping backwards
*Building pillow and blanket forts
*One leg out from under the covers
*Not being able to sleep with or without sox
*Pillow folding
*pillow between the legs
*closet door or bedroom door opened or closed
*drooling
****And much much more...
*PLEASE NOTE*, If you do not sleep with a pillow, gladly escort yourself out of this group!!
自欺欺人自爽類……
for those blackout kings and queens, if u don't remember it, u can always say it didn't happen. this club is designed to condone those of you who drink excessively and provide a safe haven for those seeking refuge from a questionable hook up.
Facebook上癮類……
JUST FOR THOSE WHO DENY THEY ARE ADDICTED
I was Just doing Homework Then I Ended Up On Facebook
Share Your Moments of Procrastination!
Share Your Moments of Procrastination!
同病相憐(無病呻吟)類……
Are you tired of people making lame jokes about your last name? Complain about it here!
Are you tired of this problem, can't find your name at all, or can't find the right spellling? Join the club.
我想他們根本是來亂的……
版友點評︰he wont do it haha,this is just something to get attention.
反現象/亂象類……
On September 20, 2006, a young girl received a Chain Message on her facebook wall from a friend. The message said that if she did not pass it on to 25 other friends, she would have bad luck for the next 10 years. It also said that her boyfriend would dump her, she would fail all of her classes, she would get bad karma, she would never have a good love life, and, worst of all, she would definitely be murdered in her bed by the Chain Message Killer that very night. Unfortunately, this poor girl, for an unknown reason, thought that she was above the Chain Message God, and not only did she never send the message on to her friends, she DELETED THE MESSAGE OFF HER WALL. Gasp. That same night, she slept in her bed. Nothing happened to her. The End.
Honestly...We don't like your spam. KTHXBYE.
Honestly...We don't like your spam. KTHXBYE.
超欠打類……
(個人真的覺得以下這個社群很欠打，但它是我同事設立的！妳們這些瘦子低調一點好不好！！)
You're one of us if you're a victim of these common questions:
1. OMG! You're so skinny!!!
2. Have you lost weight AGAIN?
3. Do you eat?
4. When was your last meal?
5. Why are you so skinny?
6. Are you anorexic?
2. Have you lost weight AGAIN?
3. Do you eat?
4. When was your last meal?
5. Why are you so skinny?
6. Are you anorexic?
AND THE WINNER..
7. Have you been trying to lose weight?
7. Have you been trying to lose weight?
Top Pet Peeves:
#1. Other skinny people asking us any of the above questions
#2. Everyone else telling us that we're skinny, including our parents who see us eating tons
For The Record:
- We eat normally
- We can't help it if we're skinny
- If you've known us for awhile, please don't ask stupid questions about whether we've lost weight again, because we were never fat to begin with.
- We are not anorexic
- Even if we do eat more than others, there's no need to proclaim that fact all the time as if we're some genetic anomaly
- We want to gripe about our tummy sometimes. Skinny does not equal no tummy…
- When was the last time anyone told someone they looked fat?
Bottomline: We have nothing against being skinny – the perks are great! But there's just no need to remind us of the obvious all the time. Pick on someone else your own size!!
社群/犯罪互助類……
If you don't admit to drinking, a police officer now has to get a search warrant to force you to breathalize. See the attached article for all the information.
Share your tricks and next year we'll get 100% inshallah....lol
This is a response to the group called "There Are Some Things Guys Should Always Do For Girls". This is not against that group, its just being fair and un-sexist, wouldnt you agree?
憤世嫉俗反社會類……
For all of us that go to class, take the tests, and by finals realize...I never learned a thing!!!! It wouldn't hurt so bad if they weren't comprehensive!!!
自打嘴巴自爽類也很多……
The big question is, does anyone actually do any work anymore, or do we all just spend the day on facebook and then quickly switch back to your work when the manager walks by?
You'd think that the obsession with facebook would eventually wear off like most things that are 'in' for a while. I'm still waiting.... i'm sitting in my new house, surrounded by boxes and the first thing i did was set up my laptop so i could go on facebook.... damn you facebook!!
21st August-Yay 4000 people with facebook issues!
28th September- 5000 people, the facebook love is spreading!
28th September- 5000 people, the facebook love is spreading!
A side effect of more people coming together to discuss how facebook has ruined their social lives is that spam is now appearing on the wall, i will be removing it. For shame on you who are trying to make money on people's suffering :-)
Okay. So you're sitting at your computer. You're bored, that's understandable. You're on Facebook. Of course! Who isn't, nowadays?
You're checking out all the new stuff your friends have been up to. You should be out actually having a social life, but this is as close as you're going to get without leaving your room. And that's okay too! Who needs a social life anymore, anyway?
And then you see something amazing. A friend of yours has created a group. Unthinkable! You didn't even know you could do that! Maybe it's a group about puppies, or a television show, or how Facebook is creating more dying addicts than nicotine.
What happens next? You're obviously gonna want to create a group. You're jealous! And why shouldn't you be? Your friend now has a group with a whole 20 members!
Criminey!
So what do you do? You click that "Groups" button, and as soon as that page loads, you've clicked "Create New Group."
Shame. On. You.
I bet you're asking why. I mean, lots of people have groups, right? There's hundreds of thousands of them. Why should yours be any different?
I'll tell you why.
While the "Create New Group" page was loading, what were you doing? Thinking about how awesome it'd be to have admin powers, no doubt. Or maybe making a sandwich? I don't know what you were doing, to tell the truth. But I know what you weren't doing:
THINKING UP A HALF DECENT IDEA FOR A GROUP.
Let's face facts. This glorious, wondrous site that is Facebook is constantly plagued by innumerable pointless, stupid groups.
If your group has a good point, that's fine. If it's funny, that's fine. But listen now and listen good.
We ALL think George Bush is an idiot.
Whether it's funny or not, no, one billion people are NOT getting a new car.
We've reached 1 MILLION before. It's been done. Move on.
Invite all the people you want. Six degrees will NOT unite the world.
And most importantly, NONE of us care if you wanna name your future child Forest Rocky Spiderman Balboa Gump.
We don't need anymore groups, so I decided to do something about it and start this group!
Spread the word.
You're checking out all the new stuff your friends have been up to. You should be out actually having a social life, but this is as close as you're going to get without leaving your room. And that's okay too! Who needs a social life anymore, anyway?
And then you see something amazing. A friend of yours has created a group. Unthinkable! You didn't even know you could do that! Maybe it's a group about puppies, or a television show, or how Facebook is creating more dying addicts than nicotine.
What happens next? You're obviously gonna want to create a group. You're jealous! And why shouldn't you be? Your friend now has a group with a whole 20 members!
Criminey!
So what do you do? You click that "Groups" button, and as soon as that page loads, you've clicked "Create New Group."
Shame. On. You.
I bet you're asking why. I mean, lots of people have groups, right? There's hundreds of thousands of them. Why should yours be any different?
I'll tell you why.
While the "Create New Group" page was loading, what were you doing? Thinking about how awesome it'd be to have admin powers, no doubt. Or maybe making a sandwich? I don't know what you were doing, to tell the truth. But I know what you weren't doing:
THINKING UP A HALF DECENT IDEA FOR A GROUP.
Let's face facts. This glorious, wondrous site that is Facebook is constantly plagued by innumerable pointless, stupid groups.
If your group has a good point, that's fine. If it's funny, that's fine. But listen now and listen good.
We ALL think George Bush is an idiot.
Whether it's funny or not, no, one billion people are NOT getting a new car.
We've reached 1 MILLION before. It's been done. Move on.
Invite all the people you want. Six degrees will NOT unite the world.
And most importantly, NONE of us care if you wanna name your future child Forest Rocky Spiderman Balboa Gump.
We don't need anymore groups, so I decided to do something about it and start this group!
Spread the word.
==這是分隔線====這是分隔線====這是分隔線====這是分隔線====這是分隔線====這是分隔線==
人類學有論述提到，族類或族群大體是人類各種具共同祖先想像的最大群體。有聚有散，如想像會衍生會破滅，很合理。反正很多東西沒什麼意義，就是一個過程跟結局而已。我指的是facebook那些群體。
As my title: Facebook - clan,lineage,family or multiculturalism? Though all of our life, we are always searching for somebody to love or to belong to. But sometimes it turns out the way it seems to be.
We all die alone, just as we came into this world alone.
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