偶然從探戈脈搏上看到的。我的天,這個太好笑了,不分享就不是Tanguera了。附上是我粗淺的翻譯,請所有探戈人自行對號入座。

 

You know you're a tango junkie when.....
你知道你已成為探戈重度患者,當你…
 

 

On a trip abroad your Tango partner gets really pissed off at you for not going to a milonga because you wanted to visit friends you haven't seen in 8 years.
你得出國去探訪一些八年不見的朋友,而錯過今晚的milonga。為此你的舞伴氣得要命

You write a pro-con list for getting knocked up and having a baby and include "not being able to gancho during the later stages of pregnancy and while breast feeding" to your con list.
你仔細列出懷孕的贊成及反對清單,其中一項不懷孕的理由是︰懷孕後期及哺乳寶寶時不能gancho(鉤)   

Late at night, you decide that you have to review a move with your partner, so yo put on your tango shoes while wearing your bathrobe.
夜已深,你忽然想要和舞伴復習某個動作。於是你們穿上了舞鞋…上半身還穿著浴袍   

You realized that there was as much "Tango Email" as "Work Email" in my inbox in the morning.
早上打開email,收信匣裡有關探戈的email跟工作電郵一樣多

You have a pair of tango shoes in your holiday bag.
你出外度假的行李箱裡必備探戈舞鞋

You don't care how "sweet" your partner's shirt is if he is a good dancer.
你才不管舞伴的衣服多久沒洗,只要他是個好舞者

Your iPod has over 30 versions of La Cumparsita
你的iPod裡有超過30個版本的La Cumparsita  

You open your eyes in the morning, you start humming "Zorzal" and dance it in your mind with your favorite milonga partner
早晨睜開眼睛,你開始哼起Carlos Gardel,然後在腦中假想你正在和最喜歡的舞者共舞  (注︰ Zorzal在西班牙文裡是知更鳥的意思,這裡的"Zorzal"應該是指Carlos Gardel的另一項稱喻El Zorzal Criollo)

You're feeling angst in your life, and you know exactly what's going to make it go away.
你對自己的生活感到焦躁不安,而你非常清楚如此解決掉這些不適
(意思就是去探戈就對啦)

Tango has become your philosophy
探戈已經成為你的哲學

You have an MDiv yet you preach the "gospel of tango" more than "the Gospel"
你受過神學訓練(MDiv),但你傳授探戈福音遠遠多於基督真理

You have crossed an ocean just to dance with a favorite partner
為了和喜歡的舞伴共舞,漂洋過海跋山涉水也在所不惜

You practice in front and in the elevator regardless if you are alone or if one of the head officers of the company are standing next to you
你在電梯前自顧自練習起來,不管你是自己一個人,或者主管級人物就站在身旁

You swear you will quit this crazy dance, and are back at the next milonga
你發誓你會戒掉這項瘋狂的舞蹈,然後在下一個milonga再度沉淪

You find yourself dressing a stranger in your eyes in 3" heels and a black dress.
你發現自己在想像一位陌生人穿上3吋高跟鞋加黑色小洋裝的樣子 (感謝Hao指正)

You realize the milonga is where you see all your friends.
Milonga是唯一一個你能見到所有朋友的地方

You laugh out loud at bad tango in movies.
你大聲嘲笑電影裡那些做作的假探戈

You walk backwards to the refrigerator.
你倒退走向電冰箱 

You walk into new buildings and notice potential dance space to Tango.
你走入新建築物,然後想這片地方可以跳探戈耶

Your friends offer to "do an intervention."
你的朋友覺得有必要介入指正你的生活

You've remodeled your house mainly to maximize dance space.
你重新裝修你的屋子,只為了擴大跳舞空間

Entering a lift, and making a side step with your left foot to give way to somebody going out, then you don't step forward with your right foot. You change weight on the double-time, and you enter the lift with a left-foot step.
你以一種超然的方始進入電梯︰首先,你用左腳做一個側步(side step)讓位給出來的人潮,但是你並沒有用你的右腳前進。你先在原地換了兩次重心,再以左腳進入電梯。

You move because your landlord will not let you remove the coconut carpets - and there isn't really room for practicing anyway.
你搬家的原因很簡單︰因為房東不肯讓你移除那該死的椰壳纤地毯,這樣就沒地方練習了

You wake up in the middle of the night and hear tango music - only to realize it's inside your head.
你在深夜聽到探戈音樂而驚醒 — 然後發現只是你腦袋裡的回音

If there is not milonga on a Friday night - you arrange one!
如果週五晚上沒有milonga,你會自己去搞一個!

You wear your heels to work. They are hand sewn and so comfortable.
Your feet love them. Why wear any other shoes?
And you keep an extra pair in your bag.
你穿著你的高跟舞鞋去上班。拜託,它們可是手製的又好舒服,你的腳愛死它們了,幹嘛還穿其他鞋子呢?
所以你在包包裡多放了另一雙舞鞋備用。

You have started taking Spanish private lessons - from a Porteño.
你開始上西班牙文私人課 — 老師當然是正港布宜諾斯艾利斯人

You cross state lines to tango
跨州跳探戈不算什麼啦

You cross country lines to tango!
跨國跳探戈?小意思!

You practice your balance - and sometimes boleos - when waiting to cross the street.
你練習平衡,有時會練習Boleos — 在等待過馬路的空檔

You say, "We can meet .... Thursday or maybe Monday - oh, no I am practicing with Thomas.... how about Monday next week?"
你會出現以下的對話︰"我們可以約在…週四或者週一…呃不行耶我要跟阿湯練舞…下週一如何?"

Your first question when buying clothes is "but can I dance in it?" - used to be "but can I wear it to work?"
買衣服時你問自己的第一問題是︰"適合穿去跳舞嗎?"從前的第一個問題是︰"適合穿去上班嗎?"  (真的,跳探戈的穿衣哲學是很非一般的)

You bring your heels to work so you can practice on your breaks. (this is a true story!)
你把舞鞋也帶去上班,如此可以在午休時練習 (真實故事!)

You prefer to listen to the original recording of Por Una Cabeza
你比較喜歡聽原版的Por Una Cabeza

You fantasize about being Luciana Pedraza.
你幻想自己成為Luciana Pedraza

You fantasize about being Robert Duvall's dreamgirl.
你幻想自己是Robert Duvall的夢中情人

You copied all your tango music to your office computer and that's all you listen to 9 – 5
你把所有探戈音樂複製到公司電腦以便上班時聆聽

You've danced with one of the biggies and survived.
你曾和大師級人物共舞,而你現在還好好活著

You own a tango t-shirt and wear it in public - constantly.
你有件和探戈有關的t-shirt,並且常常穿著它招搖過市

You go through withdrawal without at least one tango-high per week.
你每週至少撤銷一次要戒掉探戈重度上癮症的決定

You realize you are being swept away.
你察覺自己的情感在翻騰 

Your descriptions of tango have shifted from "unbounded enthusiasm" to "you wouldn't understand..."
你對探戈的描述,已經從「无限制的激情」變成「唉你不明白的啦…」

Your friends are secretly plotting to kidnap you for a week of serious deprogramming.
你的朋友暗中計劃要拐帶你一個星期以進行大洗腦

You know who Carlos Gardel is.
你知道誰是Carlos Gardel

You've stopped saying sorry when you screw up - you just tango out of the trouble you got into.
當你搞砸了,你不再說對不起 — 繼續探戈吧寶貝,一切迎刃而解

You keep a pair of dance shoes in your car.
你在車上放了雙探戈舞鞋

You wish you paid more attention in high school Spanish class.
你希望高中時能用心上西班牙文課

You've sold or moved most of your furniture to give yourself practice space.
為了給自己多一些練習空間,你賣掉或搬走了大部份的傢具

You make sure you never run out of breath mints.
你確保自己永遠不缺薄荷口香糖

You've had the big tango-fight with your partner.
你和舞伴(或生活伴侶)為了探戈大吵特吵

You listen to tango music when you're not at a practica or milonga.
即使不是練習或晚會,你依然會聽探戈音樂

You bring your ankles and knees together all the time, even in the elevator.
你習慣讓膝蓋及足踝保持密合,即使是在電梯裡

You plan the rest of your social life so it doesn't conflict with tango nights.
你仔細計劃你的社交生活,以免它們影響到你的探戈之夜

You own a bootleg copy of Tango Bar.
你有一本自己私製的探戈酒吧大全

Your wardrobe is predominantly black.
你的衣服大部份都是黑色的

Ocho is more than just a number.
八(Ocho)不再只是一個數字

Your fantasy travel destination is Buenos Aires.
你的夢幻旅行地點是布宜諾斯艾利斯  (眉批︰豈止夢幻旅行地點,等於探戈人的麥加啊)

You are unable to schedule major surgery without compromising tango commitments.
你沒辦法定下一項大手術的日期,因為總是與你的探戈之約相衝

You now view the world in terms of people who tango and those unfortunate souls who don't.
如今你看世人的視角只有兩種︰跳探戈的人,還有那些不跳探戈的可憐靈魂

You have to work hard to maintain non-tango friendships (if you have any left).
你得努力維繫那些探戈之外的友誼 (如果還有的話)

You've been dancing a year and still don't get bored talking tango.
你跳舞經年,說起探戈還是能滔滔不絕

You've progressed from the practice hold to full contact tango.
你已經從練習模式(Practice hold)晉昇到全身緊貼(full contact)

You have developed the ability to turn any conversation to tango within 2 minutes.
你開拓了一種能在2分鐘之內把任何話題轉向探戈的能力

You no longer have parties at your house; you host milongas.
你不再在家中舉行派對,你只舉辦milonga

When you look in the mirror, you are usually looking at your feet.
當你照鏡子時,通常會注視自己的腳

Before traveling, you check out the net for tango events in that area.
旅行之前,你會上網查詢該地的探戈活動

You are willing to spend twice as much time driving to a milonga as you actually dance.
你願意開雙倍時間的車到一個可以大顯身手的milonga

You've danced long enough to realize that you want to keep it simple.
兜兜轉轉了很久,你只想要回到最純粹、簡單的探戈。

You automatically do something Tango-ish whenever you navigate through a crowd.
當你穿越人潮時,會自動啟動探戈模式。

Your computer passwords at work are always phrases related to tango.
你公司電腦的密碼通常是跟探戈有關的字眼

Your ear has been trained to recognize the tango possibilities in all forms of music
你的耳朵已經訓練出能辨認各種音樂用來跳探戈的可能性

You've figured out how to find the hidden tango sections in any record store.
你知道如何在任何唱片行找到隱藏起來的探戈音樂區

You remember the place and partner with whom you danced your first real tango.
你記得你與誰在何處,完成了你生命中第一隻真正的探戈

Subtle moves have begun to reveal themselves (without lessons).
一些玄妙眩目的動作忽然出現了 (沒有人教你哦)

You practice the roles of both lead and follow to fully understand the dance.
你同時練習帶領(男步)及跟隨(女步),以更了解探戈

 

(待續)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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